Juveniles will possess either honey or marijuana?

If you're at the theater, you're not killing yourself with tap water.

More honey puts people in the mood to execute?

You are statistically in more danger of spiders if the winning Spelling Bee word is long.

Abundance of crude oil allows people to more frequently travel to chicken restaurants?

Deaths by crushing are a statistical omen of gender equality in the Harvard Law Review.

The less honey you harvest, the more likely it is that your lawnmower will kill you.

If you trip and fall and die, you are more likely to trip and fall and drown?

Cheese makes you dangerously clumsy with bedsheets?

Chips are so expensive, they make people fall out of their wheelchairs?

Golfers love cheese (and die in their bedsheets)?

Mozzarella in the mainland drives lawyers to Hawaii?

Eating more sour cream reduces starvation.

People close to murdering are driven over the edge by old Miss America winners?

If Nicolas Cage has been in a lot of movies this year, stay away from the pool.

If you commit suicide in a car, you're more likely to do it in a German car.

Married spouses are driven to more (and more dangerous) fishing trips?

Science depresses people?

You would think that less visual art to look at means more looking at where people are walking, but nope.

The more margarine people eat, the less attractive they look to their spouses?