Help! Have you seen these children?
Recently, the FBI announced that it was dealing with a unique issue. No, it’s not the problems associated with trying to turn mentally ill children into terrorists — instead, it’s attempting to figure out which group of kids just robbed a Houston bank.
Recognize these "little rascals"? Believe it or not they just robbed the Wells Fargo at 10261 North Freeway. If you know who and where they are contact police immediately or @crimestophou at 713-222-TIPS. #HouNews pic.twitter.com/0rw6jfPFEA
— FBI Houston (@FBIHouston) March 14, 2024
According to CBS Houston affiliate KHOU, these three tots entered a Wells Fargo branch, demanded the teller hand over money under the threat of violence, then walked out with the cash. We don’t know how much they got away with, but it’s certainly more than anyone was expecting from a literal child.
Imagine getting robbed by kids lmao
— drewcounter24@gmail.com (@drewcounter24g1) March 14, 2024
Not being able to find a gang of 12 year olds without public assistance is something that even you shouldn’t be able to waterboard out of you, FBI https://t.co/zuodbzsV8w
— Czarina (@fishontherun2) March 17, 2024
Quickly, internet users began to roast pretty much everyone involved in the situation. The bank was made fun of for not being able to stop a robbery committed by children, while the FBI was mocked for being unable to solve a crime performed by an age group that’s famously bad at covering their tracks.
In fact, the only people who made it out of this situation unscathed were the kids themselves, who the internet collectively decided were pretty fucking cool.
if you’re like 12 and successfully rob a bank, they should let you keep some of it. we should treat this like when middle schoolers build a nuclear reactor or solve a weird calculus problem. they should be given internships with whoever the best bank robber alive is https://t.co/xTVhVAaZf8
— Lead Actor from Pixar’s Sodas (@ByYourLogic) March 16, 2024
If your city’s bank gets successfully robbed by 5th graders then you don’t deserve the money and they do. Simple as https://t.co/hq02Rnz5yS
— Soham (@SohamGadre) March 17, 2024
Eventually, these kids were caught, and their ages were revealed to be 11, 12 and 16 (yeah, you really should have been able to handle this one faster, FBI). The kids will doubtless be charged with some sort of crime, but I’m with the internet here in saying they should be able to keep some of the money. Gotta do something with that $11 billion budget!
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