Flavored condoms have seemingly been a bachelor/bachelorette party staple forever. But in reality, flavored condoms have only existed since 1995, when Durex released a small range as part of a social marketing campaign. These early flavors are almost impossible to track down, but thanks to modern museum collections, we know one of the novel new flavors was mint. Even though these spiced-up prophylactics were set to expire in 1997, their impact would last decades beyond that — and they stirred up controversy when first released.

In 1995, the wildly naïve director of the Philippine Bureau of Food and Drugs in the Philippines ordered an investigation into the sale of flavored condoms in the country. “Why add flavor? You only add flavor to things you eat!” he reportedly said at the time. The discovery of oral sex caused a minor scandal; one newspaper article even blasted flavored condoms as the go-to for “high-risk groups like homosexuals and sex workers,” because who else would possibly stoop so low as to put a dick in their mouth?

This is just another tidbit in the long, wild history of “humans finding ways to wrap up their junk.” You’ve probably heard about the gold and riches stashed in Tutankhamun’s tomb, but did you know there was also a makeshift condom in there, too? It's the earliest recorded condom in history, dating back to 1350 BC, and was made of a fine linen soaked in olive oil and tied to a string, made to be worn like a distinctly unsexy loincloth. (Seemingly, it wasn’t very effective — there were two fetuses in there too, and DNA testing revealed, Maury-style, that King Tut was the father!)

Prior to this, guys in ancient Egypt would apparently dip their dick heads in onion juice and pray for the best; failing that, there was still the option of just pulling out — the method that explains why a lot of us are here today. It wasn’t until the 16th century that other condoms started cropping up, but they weren’t as we know them today. Most early examples were made from animal intestines and fish bladders, whereas 18th-century British condoms came in one size only — likely to bruise a few egos — and had to be dipped in water before usage, which sounds like a major boner killer. Still, if you think about it, all of these early condoms probably had their own flavors as well.

But condoms — with or without a distinct taste — have come a long way since then. And now you can find them in nearly every flavor under the sun, from cherry, strawberry and vanilla to, well, some slightly more rogue alternatives. A few press outlets have been duped by condom-themed April Fools’ jokes — more on those below — but here’s a round-up of the weirdest, wackiest and most wonderful flavored condoms you can spice your dicks up with.

Bacon-Flavored Condom

Who wants a blow job after breakfast when you can just have one for breakfast? That’s right, you too can turn your junk into a fat-stippled, pleasantly pink slab of bacon with this novelty condom. To really amp up the experience, try slapping it on top of a pancake stack or just go for a classic blowie, lettuce, tomato on rye.

Coffee Condoms

Presumably designed to fuel morning sex — no pour-over filter required.

Garlic Condoms

This could be a hoax, but it’s funny, so it’s here anyway. Because garlic makes everything taste better, right? Or maybe you just want to keep the dick-sucking vampires away.

Whisky Condoms

You’ve gotta love a flavored condom with a tourist twist, and the Scotch Whiskey McCondom is one of the best. Bring the taste of the Highlands into your bedroom with these beauties, tartan packaging and all.

Cannabis Condoms

Stoners rejoice! If nothing else, it provides a way to satisfy your stoner partner’s case of the munchies. That said, it’s worth noting that these won’t actually get you high.

Durian Condoms

Perhaps no fruit is more controversial than durian, known in Southeast Asia as the “king of the fruit.” It’s also known for its strong, cheese-like smell, but the sweet, savory and custardy taste is beloved by many — so unsurprisingly, the durian-flavored condom has made more than a few headlines.

Fish and Chips Condoms

Take this one with a pinch of salt. In 2018, Durex ran an award-winning April Fool’s joke promoting three new flavors: fish and chips, Sunday roast and chicken tikka masala.

Eggplant Condoms

Yes, this one was also a hoax, but the idea of slapping an eggplant emoji across a condom box is genius. Clearly, Durex — the flavored condom OGs — love any excuse for a dick joke.