Some people have real problems — they’re broke, they’re out of work, their wife left them for the mailman, etc. Other people… not so much. Such is the case for one Redditor who took to the site to ask why his girlfriend keeps telling him he has a big dick.
Taking to one of the relationship advice subreddits, he wrote, “My girlfriend always tells me when we’re having sex that she loves my big cock. My cock is two inches flaccid and maybe four and a half when hard. She has had many partners before me so I know that the odds of her being with someone who actually has a big cock is very likely. So why does she do this?”
But wait, it gets better. He continues, “She has really small tits so the other night when we were fucking I was like ‘I love your huge tits.’ And she just gave me this really weird look and was like, ‘Baby I don’t have any tits.’ So now I’m fucking confused. Is she just stupid and thinks that I don’t know what a big cock is and that when she tells me mine is big that I’ll believe her? And how come I’m supposed to go along with it but when I tell her that her small tits are big, we have to pause sex so that she can correct me?”
Whew. There’s a lot to unpack there. Many Redditors tried explaining that his girlfriend is trying to massage his ego. When he asked why he can’t massage her ego by saying she has huge tits, people explained that tits aren’t an ego thing for women like penises are for men.
Others explained that it’s really just standard dirty talk — “fuck me with your slightly below average cock” doesn’t exactly have the same ring to it. Mostly, people didn’t understand why he was complaining — he has a girlfriend who flatters his ego and with whom he has an excellent sex life and he takes to Reddit to complain?
Some people, honestly.