If I invited you to a show where a man stripped down, ate a sword, then climbed a big pole, where would you expect this show to take place? The circus? A particularly over-the-top gay bar? How about a church?


Recently, James River Church in Springfield, Missouri, which is a megachurch that previously garnered infamy for calling yoga a “form of Eastern mysticism that Christians should absolutely avoid” and claiming to have regrown a woman’s amputated toes, held an event that featured a particularly strange act. In short, it’s all the things I listed above, except with the faintest tint of “Jesus” thrown on top. Beats the hymns we sang in our services!



According to AOL, this was part of the church’s Stronger Men’s Conference, which, per a church press release, “exists to inspire and equip men to live out God’s vision for manhood to be the husbands, fathers and leaders God has called them to be.”


Got it — to live out God’s vision, I gotta take off my top and raise a little hell. Seems easy enough!



While this may have been a truly impressive display, fun narcs in the crowd and onstage were quick to accuse the act of being not Jesus-y enough for church (I don’t see what they mean). One of the pastors, Mark Driscoll, said that the pole climbed by the dancer was “the same thing that’s used in a strip club by women who have the Jezebel spirit to seduce men.”


Hey now, I’m sure some men in the crowd were seduced, too — just don’t tell their wives.




The church hasn’t commented on the event since, but they seem to have pissed off just about everyone in the process. Some agree with Driscoll, others agree with the church, and more still question the church’s decision to host Driscoll after he had been previously kicked out of a different church following “accusations that he bullied members, threatened opponents, lied and oversaw mismanagement of church funds,” according to AOL.


You know what? Let them fight — though whoever got to keep that sword will clearly have the advantage.