Though Republican Congressman George Santos’ politics and courtroom cuntiness may be respectively overrated and underrated, his dick is most definitely rated according to an OnlyFans model who claimed the lawmaker paid her to size up his johnson.


These hair-raising — and evidently dick-raising — revelations came about on Thursday after the House Ethics Committee shared their highly anticipated report on the controversial New York representative.


According to the document, investigators found that Santos had used campaign funds for several non-election-related expenses, including Botox, items from Hermes and Sephora and of course, "smaller purchases at OnlyFans.”



“The evidence uncovered by the Investigative Subcommittee (ISC) revealed that Representative George Santos cannot be trusted,” read the report. “At nearly every opportunity, he placed his desire for private gain above his duty to uphold the Constitution, federal law, and ethical principles.”



Santos remained largely tight-lipped surrounding these specific allegations, instead announcing that he would no longer be seeking re-election in 2024, yet one of the OnlyFans creators he allegedly supported took a different approach, calling the Congressman on his s—t.


“THIS GUY WAS SUBBED TO ME HAHAHAHA,” model Leila Lewis captioned a news story about the report. “I rated his dick.”



While it’s unclear how, exactly, Lewis rated Santos’ schlong — she has yet to reply to our request for comment — the entire ordeal landed a perfect 10 on social media.


“Spending campaign cash to get your dick rated 10/10 no notes,” wrote @IneptBisexual.


“At this point, every revelation about George Santos just makes me love him more,” added @GeebMinister.



Moral of the story? Only Santos can serve cunt while evidently serving cock.