Meet James Burnett. He runs an Instagram account dedicated to posting videos of himself “receiving head” in a number of public places: Red Lobster seems to be a particular favorite, as do his city’s public buses, but he’s also claimed to have broken into malls after closing in order to record content, and there’s even a video taken at the zoo.




In these videos, we never see the face of the person giving Burnett head, which is probably for the best — performing sex acts in public is a criminal offense, after all. This means that some of the videos look fake, but a close examination reveals that there is indeed someone lying across his lap and hiding underneath a hoodie, as you can see in this Red Lobster video:



Burnett’s page raises a lot of questions: Why make this your brand? Why do you go to Red Lobster so often? Is risking arrest worth it for just 10,000 followers? Unfortunately, we’ll never know the answers to these questions, as Burnett declined to be interviewed unless we compensated him for his time.



Instead, we’re free to speculate on his motives and his end goal. There definitely has to be an exhibitionist element to all of this. As for the Red Lobster hyperfixation, maybe he’s living his life the way Beyoncé suggests in her 2016 hit “Formation”: “When he fuck me good I take his ass to Red Lobster.” Clearly, Red Lobster is a sexually charged place, and Beyoncé and Burnett are some of the only people who recognize that.



While Burnett doesn’t have a massive following, his followers are fairly enthusiastic, egging him on and lamenting the fact that they’ll never be cool enough to get head at Red Lobster. That’s probably for the best — the last thing we need is a nationwide trend of people going down on each other at struggling casual dining restaurants. Save that shit for your nearest Waffle House at 3 a.m.