Whether you’re starting college, or getting ready to drop out of high school, it’s time to wind down your summer and think seriously about how you’re going to wade through the fog of the coming academic year. Don’t worry... we’re here to help by telling you what to waste you money on!

1. Fake Barbasol Shaving Can

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The only problem with this plan is that if the cops find you with a can of shaving cream and a huge stoner beard they might suspect something, so be prepared to tell them it’s for shaving your balls. This product also appeared in the film Jurassic Park; the man using it was killed. 

2. Hacky Sacks

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For your independent study PE class. 

3. Axe Deoderant Body Spray

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to cover up the smell of weed after you come back from lunch

4. Vietnamese Sour Fish Paste - Gia Vi Ca Bong Lau

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I’m not sure how this stuff works but it has the word bong in it, so it will probably get you high.

5. Condoms

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For having.

6. Click it Vaporizer

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This discrete vaporizer can be used to vaporize weed with a minimum of smell and fire. You can even use it in the bathroom without setting off a smoke alarm, just in case you can’t wait to get to your car before getting stoned.

7. Lady Death PVC Statue

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I dunno, use it as a paperweight or something. Come on dude, she’s hot AND she kills people, what more do you want?