Randy Newman is the greatest musician/singer/songwriter of all time, bar none.

   The greatest song ever written is the theme song to "Monk".

   It was, by no coincidence, written by Randy Newman, a musical GOD, who we mere mortals cannot hope to fully comprehend.

   Shit, farts, and shit-related humor is the highest form of comedic art. Therefore, Iliketosaypoop is unquestionably the greatest blogger to ever live. It is my understanding that he is also a HUGE Randy Newman fan, so any reason you may have thought you had to NOT show him respect should be quelled right now.

   The next President of the United States should be a Christian... But not just any Christian, and not from just any Sect of Christianity... Nay, we need to have a President who believes it is his Calling to be President of this once-great Nation, that God HImself has Chosen him to rule the country with the Bible in one hand and his turgid, completely-against-Gay-Marriage penis in the other.

   He, too, will be a Randy Newman fan.

   Anyone who believes in String Theory will be whipped.

   Anyone who wants to see the results of the Higgs Boson experiment come back in favor of a God Particle should be shot. Quantum Physics will soon be categorized as fiction, and our Next President will show us how Steven Spielberg is responsible for all "scientific evidence" that goes against anything Biblical.

   The internet shall be destroyed, with all non-conformist websites annihilated, except for Ebaumsworld, which will soon be known as the new Wikipedia.

   The Constitution shall be amended to allow foreign-born citizens to hold high political office, and Neko will be Secretary of the dept. of "Idon'tknowwhatthefuckI'mtalkingabout".

   OK, off to live my real life again.

   Have a great night! And don't forget to download all the Randy Newman you can, and not pay for ANY of it!