From an early age my mom drummed into my head the notion that anything sexual was bad, wrong, dirty, and nasty. If I innocently grabbed my junk as small (and not-so-small) boys are inclined to do, I was harshly scolded and told that I was "...gonna' get a sore down there!"

One time my friend and I were in the shed kissing on the neighbor girl. She was 6 and we were 5. It was most innocent. My mom caught us and sent them home. I was shamed and ridiculed. "I can't believe you were doing that! She's a dirty girl. That's nasty! I cried so hard and that night, after being confined to my room for hours, my mom refused to kiss me goodnight because I had kissed a dirty girl. Hey, Mom, ever see the movie Carrie?

Sex was a secretive subject in our home. I remember my dad having friends over and sending us out of the room when they began telling dirty jokes. They would laugh and have a blast. There were comments about women and boobies that I kind of understood but had to fill in with my own demented mind.

The result of this was an upbringing which taught me that sex was both filthy and secretive. There was no notion that sex could be healthy or that nudity could be clean. ALL nudity was nasty. I bring up nudity because of comments regarding Kaustic and nudity in his home.

I began to masturbate to completion at the age of 9. It felt good but it always left me feeling bad and dirty. I had been fed a steady diet of Catholic guilt and needed a spiritual Alka-Seltzer. 

I won't go into details but as an adult, my sex life has not been not normal. I have more hang-ups than a telemarketer. This has strained relationships and led to no small amount of frustration and self-loathing on my part and that of GF's.

I have always tried to project healthy attitudes about sex and nudity to my son. Babymomma and I do not make a big issue out of nudity in movies. If he has questions we answer them on his level. I think that being hyper anti-sex can do much psychological damage just as sexual abuse can. I'm pretty sure from comments she made that my mom was molested as a child.

Not my usual funny blog.