I've come to the sad realization that I'm slowly turning into an old fucker. And not the cool, drinkin' Jack straight from the bottle, punching out ninjas and pissing about on the internet old fucker who demands respect ('Bohank'), but rather the crusty and constantly pissed-off one who has nothing to do come 10:00 at night but to heat a glass of milk and listen to some Benny Goodman in his 'relaxation pants' (...I'll bet you shits thought Wallboy's name was going to be in this bracket; for shame! He's a decent guy!).

Thus, in order to fight this horrible, horrible, horrible.... yet inevitable... feeling from becoming a reality, I've decided to step-up my Canadian A-Game (Eh-Game?) and find some sweet-ass hobby to fill my time. This past week I've been checking out some local events in the paper and online for something fun to fill the time, but thus far have come up short.

The main problem is that any of the really cool ones (hockey league, poker groups, bowling team, orgy, darts or snooker competitions) all meet at the same time, same place, same day. My work schedule is shaky at best; I'm lucky to get two days off in a row, let alone every Wednesday night between 8:00 and 11:00. So....I've decided it best to take up a hobby that can be more of a solo effort.

Everyone take a moment to make the obligatory masturbation joke, and let's move on.

All done? Great.

As I was saying, I need to find something that will pass the time on off-days that is cheap, entertaining, and (if possible) somewhat of a learning experience. I'm not looking to become an expert at French or learn the finer points of how a combustion engine works, but rather something that will get me out of the house....possibly to the garage....for an hour or so. I've considered woodworking, something I currently have zero skill in, but that's only really due to a lack of ideas. My only real hobbies are movies, playing guitar, reading books, and watching Liverpool games....sad, right?....and would love to have something new to build upon. (Something I can pick-up anytime, and nothing too severe on the skills; I'll just get frustrated and go inside to drink.)

So: any ideas people? What do you guys do to pass the time? I'm open to suggestions here. My job is physical enough, so anything involving the words 'run' or 'lift' are out of the question, but otherwise fire away with some fun shit. I'm too young to be spending as much time watching TV as I have been these past few weeks (how cool is that new 'V' show, right?!?), and shudder at the thought of going to bed before the news is on. Find me an occassional fountain of youth, people!

...Fuck Stamos.

-The Big Bad