Jesus titty fucking Christ,

Do yourself a favor, and do NOT go see Land of the Lost.  I got dragged to this miserable fucking movie last night, and about 20 minutes into it I was doing that thing where you fall asleep and your head snaps back and wakes you up, then you look around cause you don't know where the fuck you are.

If it hadn't been for the hand-job that I basically demanded since I was being forced to sit through this piece of shit, this would have been a complete and total waste of ten bucks.  I know what your thinking, and the answer is yes.  She used lube.  Mouth lube.

Will Ferrel hit 1 funny joke the entire movie, and the rest of it was his usual bullshit; running around, screaming incomprehensibly, using abstract or uncommon words to be funny instead of just  actually being funny.  

Does anyone else notice that Will Ferrell just plays himself but in different costumes? The only reason anchorman was funny is because Ron Burgendy worked as a Will Ferrel-esque character.  If that character had called for anything other than an idiot who attempts to use big words and has no concept of what's going on around him, i can guarantee that movie would have been terrible too.

Kenny Powers tried to save the movie, on several occasions, and landed about 20% of the shots he took.  Whoever the girl was had a sexy body and a boney face.  Will ferrell single handedly crapped this movie up, and when i woke up right before the credits, me and sticky fingers were the only 2 people who hadn't walked out.

Fuck Will Ferrell, his shit is tired, and his movies have gone consistently downhill.  Time to executive produce Will, because all that stuff we mistook for talent was just you getting lucky with good scripts, and people not being used to your same old tired ass jokes.  We know, you like to use words like "gentleman" and "uvula" and "larynx"...we get it, those words are funny because we don't hear them often...except in every movie you make.

Retire. Please.  And send me my money back.

-Mega