So I need some advice.  My wife and were out in the hot tub last night and the same problem we often run into occurred.  Me being the gentleman that I am, tell her to go inside first as I will close up the tub (mans work and all).  The problem arises when I go to close the lid, now those of you who have any hot tub experience know that the lid is a bitch!  If you dont get it perfect then the flaps fold under or the corners bunch up and then you get massive heat loss or the possibility of 'lid blow-away' in even mild winds.  I should state that I am CANADIAN and I love everything about this great country, would not trade it for anything else in the world.  In Canada winter lasts for about 5 months and at night it will routinely get to minus 20 Celsius, I dont know what that is in Fahrenheit because Fahrenheit is a dumb system (how can freezing happen at a weird interval of plus 32)!  Anyways to close the lid properly it takes some finesse and a little time.  I dont know about you but after half an hour in water of 103 Fahrenheit (stupid temp system) it is really hard to stand up and get frigging cold, like piss freezing mid stream kind of cold.  This is the advice I need, who knows of a better way to make this process less painful?  I have tried bringing out a robe or towel but it gets cold and it is worse wrapping a wet body in cold fabric.  I have even tried an electric towel heater, still works like shit because now you have to waste more time bringing that in too.  Now dont get me wrong I love my hot tub and the winter really is the best time to use it, nothing beats sitting back having a rye and a joint and just relaxing!  I would not give it up for the world, the guy who sold me my first tub actually warned me that once you own one you will not go back.  He was right, I could not imagine not having it now that I am used to it.  Now before you go off on rants calling me a pussy and saying to suck it up and that I am lucky to even have such a luxury let me state that I already know all that but I ask anyways as somebody may have figured out something better!

Part two of this blog/rant/advise column would be to highly recommend that everybody and their brother go out and get a hot tub.  If you look hard enough you can find them for less then $1000 Canadian so that is like 9 cents American.  If you are worried about the cost of running it then dont, with new technology it costs me less then 12 dollars a month to operate over the year (less in summer, more in winter).  The maintenance is also very easy, takes a couple of weeks to get used to but once you know what you are doing they are almost maintenance free.  The advantages are countless, first off hot tub sex is frigging amazing - almost mind blowing.  The therapeutic and relaxation that is provided I have yet to encounter anywhere else from massages to chiropractic to even drugs.  If you are like me and drinking and drugs are a part of your regular life then you will be please to know that it makes drinking cheaper as the hot water gets you drunks right fast and it smoothes out the transition of most drugs that I have used in the tub making the experience last longer and much more enjoyable.  There is nothing more relaxing the coming home after a good hokey game or day of snowmobiling or long day at work or in the office.  We all have stress and trust me that this is the greatest stress reliever I have ever found.  As an added bonus the water is good for your grass, will make it fuller and lusher then any fertilizer I have found and it makes your skin very soft and supple.

I'm JACES and I approve this message!  (A new sign off I am trying out)