Help.  I need to know what this dream means.  I have had this same dream at least 10 times that I can remember.  It started when I was a teenager, and though a few details may be different, the general gist of it is always the same.  I have no idea why I have it, but it always makes me feel sick and terrified upon waking.  Here's the dream:

I am going into a sort of dilapidated white farm house in the middle of nowhere in the middle of the night.  It is dingy and dark on the inside, but I proceed through the door.  I am greeted by the workers: a middle aged woman in a skirt and knit vest and a younger man with curly hair in a white button down shirt and khakis.  I know immediately that they are wonderful people and that they desperately need my help.  The man stays in the kitchen and begins washing huge pots.  The room smells of musty old soup and a single bare bulb illuminates the room.

I follow the woman and she casually describes her job.  I nod and follow her up a steep old staircase into a huge empty room.  Drop clothes cover the furnishings.  It has suddenly become daylight and the sun shines through the windows and makes every floating speck of dust visible.  She leads me into a small room and I follow, knowing that I would give anything just to leave.

The room is small with one window and cracked white walls, worn floorboards.  There is a four poster bed in the room, the occupants of which, I realize, are the reason I am afraid.  The first occupant is a deranged woman.  Her hair is matted and she is muttering nonsense as she violently thrashes.  Her eyes are devoid of presence and her face is a mask of years of pain and frustration.  She wants to hurt me.  More than wants.  She has a physiological need to hurt me.

The second occupant is nearly comatose.  Drool in crusted on his chin and he moans quietly every now and then.  He is the occupant I am the least afraid of, but I still don't want to touch him.

The final occupant of the bed is by far the most terrifying.  A tiny baby.  Sleeping.  His skin is a sickly gold and flies have eaten white patches into his face. I immediately know that he is six of seven months old, even though he is smaller than an average newborn.  Instinct tells me to grab him up before the deranged occupant rolls on him or pushes him from the bed, but I still cannot bring myself to touch him.

I turn away and look out the single window to see a young girl in a bikini top and shorts untie her horse and ride bareback away from the house.

The lady worker has comforted he occupants and is seemingly unaware of the desperation and terror contained in the room.  She holds the baby.  She speaks to me as if I too, am facing this travesty of humanity without fear.  I am overcome with fear and sadness.  I wake myself up and for the next 24 hours I can't shake the feeling that I will see this with my own eyes, awake, and unable to escape.

What the fuck?  Why have I dreamed this for over a decade?  Before I was a nurse, before I was a mother.  Insight please.