I had a fight with my girlfriend today.

Seems the bitch wants to be involved in every aspect of my life, and lately she's been acting like such a clingy bitch. As soon as I wake up in the morning, there she is, begging for attention. I can't jump in the shower without her needing me to ask how she's doing or how she's feeling. Today, this bitch made me realize that I had to get my priorities in life straightened out.

It all started because I had to go to school, but she felt I should skip school - again - to spend time with her. For crying out, what the fuck? I attempted to explain that I couldn't skip class today because I had a test and I needed to get there early to study, but the fucking bitch just kept whining about how it seems that I've been putting her on the back burner lately. Eventually, she asks to at least let her come with me and that nobody would even notice her, or if I wanted she could wait for me in the car because she was almost sure that I'd want to spend time with her once I was done at school.

Fuck her, if she wants to wait in the car, the bitch can wait in the car. On the way to school, I'm trying to get in a zone to take my test, trying to remember the questions on my index cards and attempting to remember all those fucking dates. Instead of just staying quiet and letting me do what I had to do, there that bitch is, being the attention whore she is, talking about

"Just put me in between your lips once and taste me, if anything I'll help you concentrate more."

Needless to say, I went to class, couldn't concentrate worth a fuck because of that stupid bitch, and failed my test. I walked out to my truck, mad as fuck, jumped in and immediately that bitch starts with

"I'm so glad we can now spend the rest of the day together."

At this point I lost it, and told her that we needed to talk. I told that fucking broad that I couldn't handle the situation between the both of us anymore. It had gone on for much too long and my life was in a downward spiral, mostly due to her. She shrugged it off and said she was actually the reason I enjoyed life so much, and that without her I would be the most miserable fuck to walk the face of the earth. After we got back to my apartment, the arguing continued. A friend eventually showed up, and I sent her off with him to get her the fuck away from me.

So, I sat on my lazy boy thinking of all the fucked up things going on in my life, but thinking mostly of her and whether or not I should attempt to make things work between us. I don't know that I have the will power to live without her. I've been with her for so long. We've been together on and off for 6 years. I met her my freshman year of high school in the back of my friends' house. This particular night, she let my friends and I run a train on her. We didn't know any better and most of us were virgins, but we still passed her around between us like we knew what we were doing. From that night forward, we were inseparable. Most of the time, I would cross the border to get my girlfriend and smuggle her back across. I'd wake up early to hang out with her at the park. I'd miss football practice to spend time with her. Hell, we even skipped a homecoming dance once to spend time together at the beach with my friends. Sometimes, during class, we'd meet each other out behind the portable buildings and spend some "quality time" with each other. At first, she made me crazy and would always make me laugh. From time to time she would do things to me that no other girl could do, and I would just pass out wherever I stood.

My mom was never very fond of our relationship. One time she caught us kissing and wanted to call the cops. When I miraculously graduated high school and was kicked out of my house, I moved away and was forced to leave my girlfriend behind. I arrived at my destination, damn near in tears because I missed her so much. I was so happy, when not long after I arrived, my new roommate came in with a surprise. It was my girlfriend!

I couldn't believe it; we spent the next several hours sitting in a field by ourselves until night fell. I remember how she was wearing a different perfume and how she smelled so different.

My girlfriend eventually ended up disappearing again, and I would have to drive 10 hours, one way, sometimes once a week to go and pick her up. Because, she doesn't have her papers in order, I was always paranoid when I drove her back with me. Shit, even while I'm bullshitting, the crazy bitch still makes me paranoid. I eventually found a place closer to me to pick her up from, so that I wouldn't have to drive so long to get her.

We were together everyday, but I just couldn't believe how much more money I was spending on her after my move. Either way, I knew I just couldn't live without her and nor did I want to. We went everywhere together. I'm not sure what it was about her, but she has the ability to make me feel the way nobody has ever made me feel before. My girl has never cheated on me, to my knowledge, and has always been there when I needed her. She's been at my side when times were bad and when times were good. She's always had the ability to put me in a good mood even when she's a little dirty or not smelling too well.

Many people frown upon her, but I always stand up for her because of what she's done for me. I've told people not to judge her because she makes me feel good and that's all that has ever mattered. Sometimes, other girls come around and my girl feels left out, but to go to show how great she is, as soon as I introduce her, everyone totally embraces her as though they've known her forever. She's always the life of the party and all eyes are usually on her. I can't go anywhere without her attracting all the attention. Sometimes, it's the wrong kind of attention, though. I'm so in love with her that I don't care what other people think of me or her.

She keeps my appetite up too, which is why I'm a lil' tubby, but it's alright because I know she loves me. I understand how lucky I am because she always makes things funny and personally, I love her in any way, shape or form. My girl knows exactly how to raise my spirit. I'm a fiend for her pretty green eyes and her lil' red hairs.

In fact, the more I think about her the more I want to stop writing and go and find my girl. A friend called and said he saw her at the car wash, and then my boy that works at Burger King said he saw her walking into the bathroom there. If all else fails, I know I can take a drive to the hood and probably find her at my cousins house.

I don't know if I should break up with her, or if I should try to make things right. I wish I would have been able to keep my cool instead of acting irrationally. I feel really bad right now, and the only thing that will make me right is my girlfriend. I could probably go my entire life and never find a girl like the one I have now. She has always treated me the way I've wanted to be treated by a girl, as long as I give her the attention she needs, of course. She doesn't even care that from time to time, I go out with her cousin Candy.

I want the 8 people who may actually read my blog to be my witness when I say that I'm sorry, I miss you, and I promise to make things right. And I promise to eventually make things the way they used to be.

Baby, please forgive me for the way I have been acting.

I Love You, Marijuana!

FOR ALL THOSE THAT KEEP SAYING THIS IS FROM AN SPM SONG...... HERE ARE THE LYRICS TO THAT SONG. YOU BE THE JUDGE. _________________________________________________________________________ Artist: South Park Mexican f/ Baby Bash Album: When Devils Strike Song: Something About Mary Typed by: cheeto_shmeeto@yahoo.com [SPM] Baby, locked up...I miss you so much You'll always be my girl This is a love song, y'all, about this girl Sometime she a dike like a [??] Sometime she like boys to pull her red hair Sometimes it's so good it make it hard to share We been married since I was thirteen years old Acapulco Gold, hit the bong and reload White shark, white widow, and white rhino I'm hooked on 'ponics, that's all I know So much skunk, jack, herra, and super silva' hays I haven't smoked regularly since fuckin' happy days Mangolia, edno, Bubble Gum, and Blueberry All these names 'cuz it's something about Mary [Chorus, Russell Lee] There's something about Mary She's always on my mind, all the time [Baby Bash] She look me dead with green eyes and I'm mesmerized She that fluffy that's gon' take me up to paradise Because I vaporize, and I take the flight She the breezy comin' easy and she makes it right I'ma go, I'ma go, stuff her in optmos Go buy some cereal, and laugh like its comical We do it abominable, just like the snowman Humungous we blow man, so I fucks with real dope man And a nigga' can't tell me shit about this Mary Jane Most of y'all favorite rappers in the game is hella' scary mayne' Take it how you want it, take it 'cuz I'ma wake it, bake it She love it how I beat it up so tough, that's why she's naked [Chorus] There's something about Mary She's always on my mind, all the time [SPM] Me and my homies, we play this game We call it the bong show, an interesting' name We hit it blindfolded and try to guess What the strand it of the hydro [??] Is it Orange Crush, or maybe Black Widow Blowin' endo with Mario Galendo I smoke what a push, sticky purple cush 'Cuz even God spoke through the burning bush Victor Barren, Ebola, Endosia I grow it at my ranch on the [?Pon de Roza?] Bionic, chronic, hydroponic My dog at my stash and I made that bitch vomit Its true, she my gal. I'll never leave her I once made a bong out an old steam cleaner I need her, she makes my life complete And I know she loves me too 'cuz she makes me eat [Chorus] There's something about Mary She's always on my mind, all the time There's something about Mary She's always in my brain, she's my thang'