Top
Advertisement

Movies coming out now...and a rant about Twilight

I just experienced Inception. Noticed I didn't say I just saw Inception...I experienced that fucker. My mind is fucked like ravensong after sending her naked pictures to everyone and her grandma. 

 

It's fucked like Frogbob and his Ebaumsworld wife do it...awesomely. Speaking of which, congratulations on that. Remember, if your going to end up burning the body DO NOT do it in front of a Dunkin Donuts...I made that mistake and may as well have been doing it in front of the borough Police Department.

 

This is one of the best movies I have seen in recent times. I loved Avatar for it's cinematography, Toy Sotry 3 for the storyline and Inception for it's total mindfuck.

 

Which leads me to this pessimistic thought...shit. That was the climax for a while. Kung Fu Panda 2 is coming out soon. That won't exactly be my highlight. Fucking M. Night Shyamalan is coming out with a trilogy. The first of which...four guys in an elevator. One is the devil. OH MY GOD! That sounds like it is completely worth the four thousand dollars I'm spending on a kernel of fucking popcorn!

 

But unfortunately I feel as though good movies are gonna stop for a bit. We had such hits as "The Tooth Fairy" with that overzealous man-child the rock (funny sidenote, fucker went to my high school). There was THIS! IS! SHIT! I mean...the bounty hunter with gerard butler and who can forget the newest Twilight! 

 

Ya know what I wasn't planning on it but fuck it, I can't sleep and I really feel a rant coming on.

 

What.

 

the.

 

fuck.

Ya know folks the Bible is wrong. It said that God will never abandon his creations. But then Twilight came out. And god wiped his hands of us.

 

This is the shittiest series of...well anything, book, movie, opera, whatever the hell they will eventually make it into that ever was. And ravensong if you are a twilight fan...and I'm assuming you are. I will fucking cut you if you go near this topic. 

 

Where does the author get off ruining two of the most fantastic monsters in all history. The Brothers Grimm would Fuck her in the original sense.

 

(Children, "To Fuck" originally meant TO DRIVE A STAKE FROM A MAN'S MOUTH TO HIS ANUS)

When I was a kid I LOVED Interview with a vampire. I saw it at four years old. It scared the hell out of me but I needed to see more. I was never a "goth kid" I just like a good story. And fucking leech men substituting for the blood sucking living dead IS NOT a good story. I say leech men because thats what they are. They can not change to bats. They do not fear sunlight...WHAT THE FUCK! that was the most intrinsic element of vampires. No no, but it does affect them friends. It makes them fucking glitter like they just either A. just made a HUGE birthday card (which is always my excuse for my girlfriend when option B occurs) Option B being just played hide and seek with a glitter covered strippers chesticles.

 

Let's just stop here because they may do something crazy like fuck with wereolves and make it so they change into normal wolves...at will. Do not fear the moon and oh yeah...are also in love with some bitch who has a thing for necrophilia and beastiality.

 

Fuck Twilight.

 

Necrophilia-Crack open a cold one.

 

thegodlyone has spoken and I DID NOT expect this rant to turn into what it did

5
Ratings
  • 1,292 Views
  • 17 Comments
  • 0 Favorites
  • Flag
  • Flip
  • Pin It
Tags: twilight

17 Comments

  • Advertisement