I sat across from my middle school Science teacher, palms sweating and unsure of myself.

I knew I wasn't the greatest-looking kid, with awkward wavy hair that made my head look like a mushroom, thick glasses that if anybody else looked into them they would see into the future, all perched on top of a skinny gangly frame that looked like it could break in half from standing in the way of a loud fart.

Nonetheless, here she was in front of me, and smiling at me in a way that I knew my attempts at garnering her attention had paid off.

I had the attention span of a squirrel, but the mouth of an Italian mob wise guy. So of course, after I told the fattest kid in class he "couldn't see Uranus with a hand mirror" and told her to "shut up and make me a Goddamned sandwich" after she reprimanded me, I knew that I would be able to spend another hour with her for detention. Even if it was just for a little while, being with her just made me feel.... wanted.

The silence was not something I expected, though. Just sitting there with that smirk dancing across her lips, and her perfect fingernails tapping against the top of her desk. I figured I would at least make the first move.

"What're you eating there? It smells.... weird."

God I'm fucking lame. She looked down, briefly distracted by my question.

"Oh, this? Just a snack. Smoked Salmon."
"Oh. Fish is gross." I replied, like the silly fucktard I was.

She shot me a disapproving glare.

"It most certainly is not. I could eat this all day every day if I could afford to. Mostly though, I'll have mixed nuts and berries. Sort of on a health kick."

I had to think fast. She seemed like she was a little offended.

"Yeah. I like food too." My mouth said, despite the pleading from both my head and my throbbing erection.

She scoffed and went back to staring at me. I decided to cut my losses and stop talking, for fear I would make more of an ass out of myself.

After a few more excruciating minutes, she straightened herself up, and pushed her chair back. Her look was different as she started to walk towards me. I could see something more sinister in her gaze, something that I wasn't entirely prepared for.

"You know..... you look good today." She began said in a low, matter-of-fact tone. "I don't think I'm hungry for smoked salmon right now. I was thinking I'd have something else."

Her eyes glowed as she knelt down in front of me. But something wasn't right, as the day's events began to piece together in my mind's eye. The salmon.... nuts and berries...... hungry for something else........ there was something VERY wrong about this.

She saw my hesitation, and realized I knew something was amiss. It was then that I realized what was happening and I jumped out of my chair and made a dash for the door.

She was a fucking GRIZZLY BEAR!! She dropped the charade and lunged after me with a mighty bellow, revealing her massive bear paws. I ducked her initial swipe and rolled away into a desk. Another roar and her lightning reflexes fueled by her hunger for human flesh propelled her in my direction once again with a ferocity I was not prepared for.

I gripped a nearby chair and stood as I swung the heavy metal as hard and as fast as my tiny frame could muster. The adrenaline coursing through my system amplified my strength much more than I anticipated and the chair smashed across her snout and sent her tumbling into the side wall, dazed from the blow.

Nearly losing my balance from the force of the impact, I made an awkward lunge at the door and swung it open. My field of vision began to narrow as I sprinted through the hallways hearing her smashing through the lockers behind me, still disoriented from the shock of my defense.

I only had one shot. The black kid's locker next to me had all kinds of guns inside. She was gaining on me, and there was nobody else who would be able to slay this mighty beast. I pushed all the air out of my lungs as I made a mad dash for the locker. I could hear her lunge again, and I sidestepped in the other direction, her muzzle crashing directly into the locker.

A loaded pistol tumbled out of the bent opening the force of her body created. My awkward movement took a toll, however, as I found that my ankle was broken and I couldn't stand. She shook the daze from out of her eyes and she glared at me with a look of victory.

"Looks like dinner is served." She growled.

No. This couldn't be the end. It's so close...... she stood on her hind legs, ready to deliver the blow that would end my existence.

In one last act of desperation, I pushed myself off the ground with my arms and made a wild grasp for the weapon. Her deafening roar pierced my skull and I could feel my eardrums almost bursting. In those few seconds, I was aware of every sensation:

The blood rushing into my face
My wild heartbeat
My rasping breath
The feel of my skin covering my body
The gun in my hand

Another twisting motion and I felt myself empty the magazine into her. Seconds passed, and I could see nothing through the fog of adrenaline rush and my missing glasses. The sound of a heavy animal slumping to the ground could be heard, and my labored breathing rang through my head.

I don't know how long I laid there, but after the shock of the days events subsided, I caught one more look at the beast. Her paw was but mere inches from my jugular. I sat myself upright and pulled myself to my feet.

Some sunglasses were close by. I knew they wouldn't be missed. Picking them up, I only had a few parting words.

"Looks like this dinner....." I began, while putting on the stylish shades, "...... was un-bear-able."




YEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!

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EDIT: The original idea was from 4chan, but was rewritten by me.
http://img247.imageshack.us/img247/7959/1228257996506hj3.jpg