I got my tests back today.  I haven't gotten the hepatitis tests back yet, but I doubt that's an issue.  Even if I got an unlikely exposure, it usually takes 6 months to have symptoms from B or C.  I can't imagine how I'd get Hep A.

It's probably not cancer.  My CBC came out normal.  My white count was normal.  Total protein was normal.  Albumin was normal.  Globulin was normal.  A/G ratio was normal.

My biliruben levels are abnormal.  Your liver filters out worn out red blood cells.  My liver isn't doing that anymore.  Now my kidneys are picking up the slack for my liver.  That's why my urine is orange.  You kidneys only do a half assed job of it, so my levels are going up.

Normal range for biliruben in your blood is .2-1.2 milligrams/deciliter.  Mine is 3.9 mg/dL.

My liver enzymes are abnormally high too.

AST SGOT enzyme has a normal range of 10-30 iu/L.  Mine is 330 iu/L.

ALT SGPT enzyme has a normal range of 6-40 iu/L.  Mine is a whopping 1183 iu/L.

My Alkaline Phosphatase enzyme is three times higher than it should be too.

The biliruben in my blood is what's causing my rash.  It's like having a very bad sunburn over every square inch of your body.  It itches like mad.  But if you touch it, it burns.

They gave me a prescription for an antidote.  It's this powdered crap I mix with water like Tang.  It tastes like crap.  I took it five hours ago and it hasn't helped at all.

I see an internest tomorrow.  I see a gastroenterologist Thursday.  I get my ultrasound on Friday.  If the ultrasound is inconclusive, I get an MRI.  If that doesn't show anything, I get a CT scan.

So far, the consensus:  I'm really fucking sick and there's something wrong with my liver.  I knew that already.

My wife came to pick up my son.  "Is there anything I can do?"

"I don't know.  Clean up the cat puke (that's all they fucking do) and make our daughter something to eat."

"She said she's not hungry right now."

"Fine.  I guess I'll do it later."

"Is there anything you need?"

I wanted to say that I needed a wife who loved me very much and would be there for me when I needed her.  But what's the point?

When it rains, it pours.  I'm fucking miserable.