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Ode to Andrew Ryan

*And Neko


   Ryan-
   I know how frustrated you must be. You try to troll me day after day, night after night, and you constantly fail.
   My superior intellect ensnares you in it's benevolent web.
   Do not despair, Ryan. Things can begin to look up for you- IF you'll allow them to. When you attempt to troll me, you need to try harder. We both know I am smarter, better educated, better looking, more talented, and funnier than you. But don't look at these deficits as... Deficits. lol. Try to envision them as motivation to become a better Human Being. I don't think you're stupid- far from it. You might actually be one of the smartest people on the site. But you're still no match for me.
   I grew up in an environment that was violent, both physically and verbally. The only reason I am alive today is because I learned how to defend myself both ways. Now, I don't anticipate that we'll ever meet and throw fisticuffs. lol. But if we DID, I'm afraid you'd end up like most of the villainous ex- boyfriends in that wonderful, cherubic Scott Pilgrim film.
   I offer you this opportunity to join my side. As a member of my side, you will be systematically ignored, instead of publicly and humiliatingly tortured. I do not NEED you on my side, you really have nothing to offer, as my inferior. But do not take this invitation lightly. There is a veritable list of real-life Rock Stars and CEOs who wish they would have taken up this same offer.
   Well, that's my offer. Have your secretary contact mine, and perhaps we can video chat sometime.
   Best of luck to you in your varied and mild endeavors.
      Sincerely,


        The Blue who is Red.
  
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