Well I would have the superest fucking superpower of them all, you can bet your ass on that.

I could fly up above your head, take a massive fucking shit. But fuck all that. 

Maybe I'd have the superpower to fill your mouth with piss.  Piss all in your dirty fucking mouth.  But naw.

I could piss and shit anyone else's pants, on a whim, cuz fuck a mofakka that tries some shit with me.  Try and come at me with a pants full of shit and piss.

No.  Those really arent my style.  You know what I  want?  What I really really want?

I want the power of perfect body energy consumption. Nothing gets wasted.  Everything I put into my body goes right to a source of energy, no waste.  No poop, no pee, just perfect fucking energy.  I don't even want to focus on the insane abilities that would be inherent with this amazing superpower, but rather imagine the fantastic powers that come with the ability of not pooping or peeing.  Sure, with this ability, I might not have the capacity to poop or pee on my enemies, but the power to save on TP would be a reward in and of itself.  

Fuck.  Not to mention all the time wasted washing my hands.

And now that I don't poop, I'm the realest motherfucker when I tell a bitch I don't give a shit.  Its physically impossible.  Fuck off.