In light of me and Hardasnails engagement we have decided to send everyone Christmas presents because we feel that you are all part of our gay little family. Yay!

Frogbob since you were my first, I will start with you.

Its a tin foil fedora. I figured this would protect you better from all the government's mind control beams.

Dangle I don't like you working 80 hour weeks. You are a white person and white people only should work 30 hours.

These are mexicans. I think Padoryn and Papi Chula are in the front. I bought them for a whole year and I am smuggling them to Canada myself.

Mr. Mustaid, you were easy. I just got you what I would get myself.

Lots of kegs of beer.

Assortment of narcotics.

Assortment of hookers. These hookers are on call for you and your family and friends for an entire year.

Rin, I got you your favorite fairy tale books.

And a pair of pants because as Dangle pointed out Atheist girls don't wear pants. It is cold out this time of year and I don't want to become an amputee.

Yes they are see through.

Phylisio, I got something for you that will benefit me.

Yes you are now divorced from Jeb. You can marry Hardasnails and I or we can just have sex.

Shylilazn, I thought long and hard on this.

Yes, you suck at music and need to learn an instrument.

Biserschap. I haven't but a few interactions with you but I like your Stoned blogs plus you live in Mass.

When are you massholes gonna learn how to drive?

Gonzo, your nose turns me on. When ever I see you I feel like I am cheating on Hardasnails. Something has to done.

Tom is awesome. He can make you look like Daviv hasselhoff if you want.

Wendigo. Here ya go, buddy.

I bought the every single one of them just for you. One condition though, you have to train Hardasnails. He is saggy bastard with man tits.

Hardasnails I saved you for last my love.

I suggest you keep it hooked up to one of these...

for about a year or so.

And for everyone else...

Don't I never gave you anything.lol

And I'm out.