Are we all done arguing about abortion? Has the fad passed? Did we all get it out of our collective "systems"? Does everyone feel better?

Or do we feel exactly the same as before?

That's kinda what I thought. Nothing was accomplished. No minds were changed. We have collectively done little more than ideologically masturbate ourselves, and instead of gloriously spraying cum and infecting the masses with the seed of our beliefs all we seemed to have done is crust up a few tissues. We've handed out pointed insults, traded barbs, attacked oppositional beliefs, and felt nothing. Nothing, that is, except for self-pleasure. We feel good about our beliefs, yeah? I sure do.

Personally, I think that because I have a dick I don't get to say what a woman can and can't do with her body. But no matter how hard I beat that same dick I'll never transmit an STD to that cold bitch who broke my heart. All I'm going to do is mess up a tissue, have a quick cry, and go about my business. No one will be affected, no matter how furiously I stroke it. There is no total sum of preaching on my part that will, likely, ever impact anyone enough to alter their own belief structure. There is no golden argument that I can present that is unanswerable. There is always a counter and a counter for that ad infinitum. The best bet you can make on that score is that someone will agree with something you've said and give you a quick handjob under the table for your troubles. Welcome to the internet, I guess.

This is why I don't give answer to the debate requests I've gotten through my few galleries. They're mostly from the illustrious user Phukyanks, whom I loathe. Despite the fact that he managed to try and look cute by misspelling the word FUCK or that I am, in fact, from New York and am a pretty big Yankees fan, I won't waste my time debating him on god. Or abortion. Or any other thing he's upset about. We can preach and attempt to proselytize each other all day and neither one of us will budge an inch. I'll still be an incredibly attractive atheist with loose morals, a penchant trying to sound smarter than I actually am, a diehard fan of the Oxford comma, and have a confused sexual identity. I'm 26 and I should have had that figured out a long time ago, to be honest. He'll still be a few blocks of grammatically fucked text on the internet that gives me heartburn.

This isn't just a futile struggle between on eBaum's between good (me) and evil (Phukyanks and Frogbob), though. This is just a tiny sliver of what happens every single day. Every day and in every way (I'm getting better and better). A battle rages on waged with weapons made of words. Zero casualties, though. I've yet to see any single side make a point that the other can't counter. The counter may not make any sense, or it could even be 100% actual bullshit, but whoever made it sure feels better. "That showed 'em. Those fucks on the internet just shit their pants trying to argue that totally sensible and not stupid thing that I just said in a stupid forum that no one gives a shit about anyways. Now I'll go to Youtube/Reddit/whatever and amaze the internet with my impossibly practical logic by getting into a comment fight and telling them that they're all Nazis." See what I mean? No, probably not. You're all goddamned idiots and I'm way more smarter than you guys, anyways. Psh.

By all means, continue the fight, though. I'm not going to stop telling everyone I disagree with that they're stupid and should totally look at things the way I do.  I can't seriously be the only person who's ever come to this conclusion, can I? Doesn't anyone else see just how awful we're being for no reason? We're viciously attacking the fundamentals of someone else's beliefs. The building blocks of their personalities. What makes them them. And we do it all the fucking time, I mean constant non-stop denigration. Are we trying to change the world? Are we hoping to spread harmony via conversion? Or is it something else? Could it really be that lofty of a goal?

Nope.

We do it because sometimes it's nice to see a friendly avatar thumb you up and say, "Yeah. What (s)he said." To look at them from across the virtual table and have them reach under and stroke your cock for you because, holy shit my arm is tired.

Down here is where I would have liked to imbed a YouTube video in the fashion of Letemdangle, but I can't remember how to do it and am too lazy to find out. Probably a poignant music video about dicks or that scene from Legally Blonde where Reese Witherspoon said that every masturbatory emission is tantamount to reckless abandonment.