Ok well I'm really sick.

I can't breathe.

I have a sore throat.

My stomach hurts.

My head is throbbing.

I have a bad cough.

My whole body aches.

My nose is full of crap that refuses to come out.

I'm sneezing every 5 seconds.

My eyes are watering.

I can't sleep.

And to top it all off, I'm having "womanly problems" if you know what I mean.

And to all you pervs, no, I'm not pregnant.