Once upon a time I had a date. With a girl, boo yeah!  I called her cell and told her to meet me at the bus stop.  I am such a classy guy.  When she got off the bus we went to eat some lunch.  This was a bad idea because I am a messy eater.  I am sort of like Cookie Monster if I am eating something I like I have to eat it really fast. Same goes for pussy, zing!  We then went to the movies and saw the movie Mall Cop. I spent the whole time during the movie copping a feel. It made the movie ten times better.  After the movie was over we walked back to the bus stop.  I was walking behind her because I dropped my cell phone.  As I was trying to catch up she blew a fart. It wasn't a silent fart and it wasn't a loud fart, it was a mother load of all farts. It was so powerful it actually picked me up and threw me into a tree.  True story I swear.  She just looks to me and says "tee hee sorry!"  As I was getting out of the tree she asked me if I like to go back to her place.  In my head I said "sure I love to." Out loud I said "time for pussy and tits!"  She then gave me that bitch look. I then told her "I said get your bus ticket ready."  I think she bought it.  One hour bus ride later we finally arrived at her place.  Here I was ready for action but all I ended up getting was some cookies and milk.