Get it?? Like "the joke's on you"...only with the word smoke. Ahhhh....humour.

Anyway, I had something interesting happen to me the other day. I went for a nice little stroll up the street to the plaza where they have this nice little pita restaurant. I went in and ordered my shit, but the guy said it would take him about ten minutes to prepare what I'd ordered. No big deal, I'll wait, right? I decided to kill a bit of the time by ducking outside for a cigarette.

No sooner then I had lit up a woman exited the restaurant with her son in tow. She walked passed me, stopped and looked, started walking again, then stopped again. My Spidy senses told me a conflict was brewing.

The woman turned to face me looking quite displeased with whatever I was doing. She glared, narrowed her eyes and shook her head. I stared back, not wanting to provoke anything infront of her kid, but she wouldn't let it go. "You're a real asshole, you know that?" she said.

What the fuck?! I didn't say a word to her, but kinda knew where she was going with this. She had that look and stature (what's the best way to put it?...."She Fat!") that told me she was hankering for a conflict... and a side of ribs. I stammered out to her "What seems to be the problem?" She shook her jowls once more and pointed to my hand. "Why don't you just light up in the store?!"

Okay. The same old song and dance. You smokers know what I'm talking about.

"Look, I'm far enough  from the doors. There's---" but she cut me off. "The hell you are! I could tell you were smoking ten minutes ago!" First off, I just got there, secondly, who the hell smokes one cig for ten minutes? Bah! I was more than the requisite twenty feet from the door as per our local by-law, right onto the parking lot, well away from the doors. "People inside don't want to smoke your cigarette with you! My SON doesn't want to smoke your cigarette! Think next time!"

I was going to let loose with a barrage of insults, but looked at her kid's face. He looked embarassed, and I figured calling his mum a bunch of names infront of him was not called for, so I let it go. "Okay, sure. Sorry." I said, trying to de-escalate the situation. She lumbered off and got into her mini-van.

Guess what she did when she got inside the van? Lit a fucking cigarette! With the windows rolled up! With her kid next to her! I stood and finished my smoke, watching what she was doing in awe. She put on her belt (apparently they do make them that big), cleared the wind-screen of snow with the wipers, and rolled off. Windows still up!

What's the deal with people? I get not liking smoking. I get not wanting to be exposed to it. I get trying to keep your kids away from it's nastiness. I don't get people who smoke with their kids in the car, let alone after they've reamed out someone else for smoking. Stats say that at least a half of you probably smoke or once did. Have you guys ever encountered this same situation?

At least the pita was good.

Thanks for reading. I need a smoke now.

Cheers,

-The Big Bad