If you put Duck tape on the inside of each butt cheek you can run up to 17.3% faster than before.  This was proven in the special olympics of 2008.

     Duck Taping your butt cheeks together will allow for some awesome sounding farts.  If you like the wet sounding farts just put some KY or Vasaline between you cheeks before taping them together.

     Duck taping your cheeks to your lower back will provide lift for the appearance of a bubble butt.  This practice is encouraged by myself for all Asian women.

    Before dropping a growler, duck tape your cheeks apart to reduce the formation of dingle berries.

     Cover your entire ass with duck tape then pull it off to remove unsightly butt hair.  This practice shall be known as "redneck ass waxing" as of now because I just invented it.

     My dad's real name is Crandelle Seabass Gomez.

     Place duck tape over your pet's anus to prevent them from pooping in the house.  This practice will eventually kill your pet.  Have back-up pets readily available.

     You can duck tape your own anus to protect yourself from anal rape.

     You can put duck tape in the shape of a "W" on each butt cheek and it will spell "MOM" then you can roll over and it will spell "WOW".

    Put duck tape on your butt to reduce road rash from baseball slides.

    Cover your girlfriend's anus with duck tape prior to 69ing to keep her anus from touching your nose.

    Nothing takes the sting out of a spanking like four layers of duck tape hidden under your pants.

     Fatties can use duck tape to fasten reverse lights and the warning beeper thing to their ass.

     That's all I got.  let me know if you try any of these.