So I planned on going back to school this semester.  It didnt happen.  The university here doesn't have a program for the major that I want to study for.  But I was thinking the other day.  I've had alot of dreams and goals.  But one has never left.  I always had this plan of getting my degree and using it as a backup plan in case chasing my dreams didn't work out.  As some of you know, I do stand up comedy.  I haven't actually pursued doing it professionally, because I havent gotten my degree yet.  At least, that's what I've been telling myself.  Im actually afraid.  Afraid of failure.  I always have dreamed of actually getting paid for it.  But thats a long, rough road ahead of me.  And that scares me.  What if I go for it, and eventually see it not going anywhere?  I plan on having kids some day.  I don't want to be a struggling stand up comedian with no other option for supporting them.  I'm afraid of cornering myself.  I try to keep my feet on the ground, even if my head is in the clouds. 

Everyone that I've talked to that has seen my stand up has had good things to say.  Hell, after my last show, I got an offer to go to a new club.  I declined for the time being.  I wasn't ready to get back on stage for my last show.  I was just filling in.  I want to write a LOT more material before starting back up again. 

My issue now, is paying the bills.  My student loan payments just skyrocketted.  I figured my budget.  At the end of the month, after I pay everything, I will have $-2.  Yes, that's negative two dollars.  And that's not including gas or groceries.  Yeah, I mean, its would have been nice if they had given me some sort of warning. Or if they would at least pull my hair while they are fucking me.  And let me tell you, American Education Services has a HUGE dick.  And strghtjcktgrl, they dont like to wear rubbers.  Or lube.  But they dont give anyone a choice. 

I do have one bit of good news.  My Dad called me up and told me about a job that he can get me.  I have riding on my dad's accomplishments, but I'm getting pretty desperate.  The job pays well, has good benefits, the whole works.  And they will train me.  But it's a high risk job.  I was told that I'd end up disarming live explosive and working to clean up chemical weapons. Yeah, sounds exciting. I always thought that was kind of a military thing.  But I'll be on the better paid civilian worker side.  However, I heard that the contract that you sign is pretty harsh, and they dont accomodate much.  I'm still getting the details on it.  This is just my understanding of it thus far.

I am Guy, and I'll figure everything out.