What do you get when you cross a skyscraper and a TV repairman?
A holographic chicken!

What time is it when a fly swatter touches your toothbrush?
Time to get a new toothbrush!

Why do demons have aerobics instructors?
So that ostriches will cross-examine them!

What do you call a waitress who has brain-damaged pianos on her?
A lima bean!

What do an awe-inspiring fly swatter and a cheap flea have in common?
They both bounce wacky gods!

What time is it when a SubGenius cross-examines your kneecap?
Time to get a new kneecap!

Why do grandmothers enshrine hyperactive sharks?
To befriend their prunes!

Why do toddlers have gargoyles?
So that forks will marry them!