CAUTION: Your daughter might be on board

Hang up and drive!

Welcome to America ..... Now speak English

Some people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them.

Heart Attacks...God's revenge for eating His animal friends.

Guys...just because you have one, doesn't mean you have to be one.

Don't like my driving? Then quit watching me.

Save your breath...You'll need it to blow up your date.

Some people just don't know how to drive...I call these people: Everybody, But Me."

If you can read this...I can slam on my brakes and sue you.

The proctologist called...they found your head.

Impotence...Nature's way of saying "No hard feelings."

Try not to let your mind wander...It is too small and fragile to be out by itself.