How do you make a dead baby float?
Take your foot off of it's head.

What's brown and gurgles?
A baby in a casserole.

What do you call a dead baby with no arms and no legs in the middle of the ocean?
Fucked.

How many babies does it take to paint a house?
Depends how hard you throw them.

What's purple, covered in pus and squeals?
A peeled baby in a bag of salt.

What do you get when you dislocate a dead baby's jaw?
Deep Throat

Why do you stick a baby in the blender feet first?
So you can see the expression on its face!

What's the difference between a truck full of bowling balls and a truck full of dead babies?
You can't unload a truck full of bowling balls with a pitchfork.

What's present do you get for a dead baby?
A dead puppy.

How many dead babies does it take to make a bottle of baby oil?
It depends on how hard you squeeze them.