A man walks in the door after a day at the office to find his wife crying at the kitchen table. “What’s wrong?” he asks.

“I went to the store today, and a horrible man looked up my skirt. He said, ‘I’d like to fill that with beer and drink it,’” she sobs. “I wish you’d been there to kick his ass.”

“Listen, honey, I’ve repeatedly told you to wear panties every day,” replies the husband. “And, second, there’s no way I’d mess with anyone who could drink that much beer.”