Some of the funniest FML's from http://www.fmylife.com/

1) I was sitting in class and I fell asleep during the lesson. I was wearing sweatpants and had an erection. My teacher came up to me and grabbed my penis; she thought it was a cell phone.

2) Today, my boyfriend told me he couldn't hang out with me because he felt really sick. I went to his house anyway, to surprise him with homemade soup. I walked into his room to find him hooking up with my sister. She can't drive; our mom drove her there.

3) My boss called me into his office to show me the website of a potential business partner. When he began to type "virginia" into Google, it auto-completed his search with his recent search for 'virgin boy assholes.' I have to go on a business trip with him tomorrow. I'm a young guy.

4) I found out that I was pregnant. My husband and I have been trying to have a baby for a while, and I was very excited to tell him the news. When I opened his office door, planning to surprise him, I found him making out with a man.

5) Today, I came home to find a sock I previously used to whack off on my bed with googly eyes and mouth drawn on it. The note beside it read, "Because you can't find a real girl, I made your current one prettier. Love, Mom."

6) Today, for the first time ever, a woman saw my penis. I am 30 years old. The woman was my doctor. She snorted to cover a laugh and apologized.

7) I walked in on my elderly great-great aunt, sitting on her recliner in the living room. There was porn on the TV. Thinking that it was an accidental channel change, I asked, "What in the world are you watching!?" She replied in her sweet, frail voice, "Two lesbians getting it on!"