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Funny Things Said in Court PART 1

ATTORNEY: Doctor, did you say he was shot in the woods?
MEDICAL EXPERT: No, I said he was shot in the lumbar region.

ATTORNEY: What happened then?
WITNESS: He told me, "I have to kill you because you can identify me."
ATTORNEY: Did he kill you?

ATTORNEY: Were you alone or by yourself?

ATTORNEY: Any suggestions as to what prevented this from being a murder trial instead of an attempted murder trial?
WITNESS: The victim lived.

ATTORNEY: Are you married?
WITNESS: No. I'm divorced.
ATTORNEY: And what did your husband do before you divorced him?
WITNESS: A lot of things I didn't know about.

ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: But could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes. It is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.
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