Hark
rick2580
Published
03/15/2009
An out of work actor is sitting at home in the middle of the day.
The phone rings and it's his agent he hasn't heard from for six months.
"I have an audition for you. It's for a play. It's an emergency. The regular actor got sick, so they need to see you right away."
The actor is so excited he runs down to the theater. The casting agent says "It's a small part, only one line. The line is 'Hark! is that the roaring of the cannons I hear.'"
The actor puts his hand to his ear and delivers the line in his best Shakesperian voice "HARK! IS THAT THE ROARING OF THE CANNONS I HEAR?"
The casting agent says "That's fine. You got the part. The play is at eight o'clock tomorrow night. Be here at seven sharp."
The actor is so excited he goes out and parties with his friends like never before; strip clubs, coke, whiskey, the whole nine yards. The whole time saying "HARK! IS THAT THE ROARING OF THE CANNONS I HEAR?" and taking a shot of Jack Daniels.
He wakes up the next night at 7:45 in a panic. He can't believe he screwed this up.
He gets up and runs down to the theater and goes up the the door man who says "Can I help you?"
The actor, out of breath says "I'm the HARKISTHATTHEROARINGOFTHECANNONSIHEAR guy."
The door man says "Oh my god, they're waiting for you. Get down to wardrobe fast."
He runs down to wardrobe. The wardrobe lady says "Who are you?"
He says "I'm the HARKISTHATTHEROARINGOFTHECANNONSIHEAR guy!"
She says "Oh my god. You're late. Here put this on. Get up to make up!"
He puts the costume on and runs up to the make up room. The make up lady says "Can I help you?"
He says I'm the HARKISTHATTHEROARINGOFTHECANNONSIHEAR guy!"
She slaps him in the face with a powder puff. "Get up to the stage, quick!"
He runs up to the stage. The stage manager, off to the side says "What do you want?"
He says "I'm the HARKISTHATTHEROARINGOFTHECANNONSIHEAR guy!"
The stage manager says "Oh my god! You're on right now!" and pushes him out on to the stage. The cannons explode BAAAM BAAAM BAAAM.
The guy yells
WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT!???
The phone rings and it's his agent he hasn't heard from for six months.
"I have an audition for you. It's for a play. It's an emergency. The regular actor got sick, so they need to see you right away."
The actor is so excited he runs down to the theater. The casting agent says "It's a small part, only one line. The line is 'Hark! is that the roaring of the cannons I hear.'"
The actor puts his hand to his ear and delivers the line in his best Shakesperian voice "HARK! IS THAT THE ROARING OF THE CANNONS I HEAR?"
The casting agent says "That's fine. You got the part. The play is at eight o'clock tomorrow night. Be here at seven sharp."
The actor is so excited he goes out and parties with his friends like never before; strip clubs, coke, whiskey, the whole nine yards. The whole time saying "HARK! IS THAT THE ROARING OF THE CANNONS I HEAR?" and taking a shot of Jack Daniels.
He wakes up the next night at 7:45 in a panic. He can't believe he screwed this up.
He gets up and runs down to the theater and goes up the the door man who says "Can I help you?"
The actor, out of breath says "I'm the HARKISTHATTHEROARINGOFTHECANNONSIHEAR guy."
The door man says "Oh my god, they're waiting for you. Get down to wardrobe fast."
He runs down to wardrobe. The wardrobe lady says "Who are you?"
He says "I'm the HARKISTHATTHEROARINGOFTHECANNONSIHEAR guy!"
She says "Oh my god. You're late. Here put this on. Get up to make up!"
He puts the costume on and runs up to the make up room. The make up lady says "Can I help you?"
He says I'm the HARKISTHATTHEROARINGOFTHECANNONSIHEAR guy!"
She slaps him in the face with a powder puff. "Get up to the stage, quick!"
He runs up to the stage. The stage manager, off to the side says "What do you want?"
He says "I'm the HARKISTHATTHEROARINGOFTHECANNONSIHEAR guy!"
The stage manager says "Oh my god! You're on right now!" and pushes him out on to the stage. The cannons explode BAAAM BAAAM BAAAM.
The guy yells
WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT!???
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