Help the Rabbi

A rabbi gets in front of his congregation and says that he is leaving to go to a larger congregation that can pay him more. There is a hush—no...

By ebaum

Published 17 years ago

A rabbi gets in front of his congregation and says that he is leaving to go to a larger congregation that can pay him more. There is a hush—no one wants him to leave. Sol Epstein, who owns several car dealerships in the city, stands up and proclaims, "If the rabbi stays, I will provide him with a new Cadillac every year and his wife with a minivan to transport their children!" The congregation applauds. Sam Goldstein, a successful entrepreneur and investor, stands and says, "If the rabbi will stay, I'll personally double his salary, and also will establish a foundation to guarantee the college education of all his children!" The congregation cheers again. Sadie Goldfarb, age 88, stands and announces with a smile, "If the Rabbi stays, I will give him sex!" There is total silence. The rabbi, blushing, asks her, "Mrs. Goldfarb, whatever possessed you to say that?" Sadie's 90-year-old husband Jacob is now trying to hide, holding his forehead in the palm of his hand and shaking his head from side to side while his wife replies, "Well, I just asked my husband how we could help, and he said, 'Screw the Rabbi.'"