Johnny comes home from school with a black eye.

His father sees it and says, "Johnny, how many times do I have to tell you not to fight with the other boys?"

"But Dad, it wasn’t my fault. We were all in class reading. When my teacher stood up and walked in front of me and had her dress in the crack of her butt. I reached over and pulled it out. That’s when she hit me!" he said.
"Johnny," the father said. "You don’t do those kind of things to women."

Sure enough, the very next day Johnny came home with the other eye black and blue. Johnny’s father said, "Johnny, I thought we had a talk!"

"But Dad," Johnny said, "It wasn’t my fault. There we were in class reading. My teacher stood up, walked in front of us and had her dress in the crack of her butt again. Then Louie who was sitting next to me saw it and he reached over and pulled it out. Now I know she doesn’t like this, so I pushed it back in!&q