A guy's walking along the beach and sees a woman with no arms or legs. He walks up to her...on his own, obviously she couldn't wave him over...and she says, "I've never been kissed. Can you kiss me?"

He says to himself, "What the hell?" and kisses her.

She says, "I've never been fingered, Could you please finger me?"

He sneaks his finger around the lip of her bathing suit and sticks it in her very greasy un-used hole.

She says, "I've never been fucked."

He picks her up, throws her in the water, and says, "You're fucked now."