Johnny sat next to his grandpa on the porch one day. Grandpa was drinking a beer, and Johnny said, "Can I have some, Grandpa?"
"No, not until you can wrap your pecker around and touch your butt, son."
The next day Johnny sat next to Grandpa, who was smoking a cigar.
"Grandpa, can I have some of that stogey?" asked Johnny.
"Nope, can't have this till you can touch your butt with your pecker, boy", replied Grandpa.
A week later Johnny visits and Grandma bakes him some fresh cookies, which he takes out to the porch.
Grandpa is sitting there with a beer and a cigar when he asks Johnny, "How about letting your dear old granddad get one of those cookies?"
Johnny replies, "Well, since your old enough, why don't you go fuck yourself."