A young couple had just returned from their honeymoon and were settling down in their new apartment. Coming home from work one night, the landlady met the man in the hallway. She said, "I have a couple of extra tickets to a play in town tonight, and I wonder if you and your bride would like to have them?"

"I'll ask her," the young man responded. He opened his door and called out, "Honey, would you like to see 'Oliver Twist' tonight?"

"Hey," she retorted. "If you show me one more trick with that thing, I'm going home to mother."