A man and his wife were driving on the highway one night when he got pulled over by the cops for speeding. The cop walks up and informs the man of his unlawful deed. "I never speed," says the man. The wife chimes in, "Oh yes you do - all the time!" The man says, "Dammit honey, would shut your damn mouth?" The cop sees the man wasn't wearing his seatbelt and says, "Sir, I'm also going to issue you a citation for not wearing your seatbelt." "I was wearing my seatbelt sir -I just took it off," says the man. The wife chimes in again and says, "Officer, he never wears his seatbelt." The husband says "Quit being a bitch and keep your fucking mouth shut." The cop then asks, "Ma'am, does your husband always speak with such callous vulgarity to you like this?" "Nah," she says, "Only when he drinks all day."