ONCE UPON A TIME, A BEAUTIFUL, INDEPENDENT, SELF-ASSURED PRINCESS HAPPENDED UPON A FROG IN A POND. THE FROG SAID TO THE PRINCESS, "I WAS ONCE A HANDSOME PRINCE UNTIL AN EVIL WITCH PUT A SPELL ON ME. ONE KISS FROM YOU AND I WILL TURN BACK INTO A PRINCE AND THEN WE CAN MARRY, MOVE INTO THE CASTLE WITH MY MOM, AND YOU CAN PREPARE MY MEALS, CLEAN MY CLOTHES, BEAR MY CHILDREN, AND FOREVER FEEL HAPPY DOING SO." THAT NIGHT, AS THE PRINCESS DINED ON FROG LEGS IN GARLIC BUTTER, SHE LAUGHED TO HERSELF AND THOUGHT, "I DON'T FUCKING THINK SO."