A man goes into a bar and sits down next to his friend John and orders a beer. "Dude," he says, "I think my wife is going to leave me." He takes a sip of beer and sighs.
"Oh no," responds John, " What happened?"
"Well, I punched a cat, and she got all freaked out."
"Um...why'd you punch a cat?"
"Dude, it was all sniffing on me...and junk!"
"Dude, you don't punch a cat, it could traumatize it, how old was it?"
"One year old, I got it for my wife's birthday."
"You punched a kitten, you can't do that!"
"I bought it for her, I can punch it if I want to!"
"No, you can't."
"Well, aren't you an anti-kitten puncher!?"