A guy is skydiving for the first time. He finally works up the nerve and jumps.

He is free falling for two minutes, then pulls the rip cord. Nothing happens. Oh God! he thinks. He reaches for the reserve cord and pulls it. Nothing!

He is about 200 feet from the ground with no parachute.

All of a sudden he sees a woman flying UP from the ground.

As they pass, the guy yells "HEY! Do you know anything about parachutes?"

The woman responds "NO! Do you know anything about gas ovens?"