Did you hear about the stupid person who...

* Took his pregnant wife to the grocery store because he heard they had free delivery.

* Filled the gym with water because he heard he was going in as a sub.

* Was so modest he went into the closet to change his mind.

* Thought he was upside down because his nose ran and his feet smelled.

* Put his best friend through the meat grinder so he could scrape up a new acquaintance.

* Took the street car home and his mother made him take it back.

* Backed out of the street car because he heard that as soon as he got up someone would take his seat.

* Took his nose apart to see what made it run.

* Pulled out his teeth so he would have more gum to chew.