Three dicks were talking once. One was a Straight Dick, One was a Smelly Dick, and one was a Lonely Dick.

The Straight Dick starts to complain about his life.
"You know what happens to me? They place a Plastic Bag over my head, throw me into a cave which smells like fish, then beat me until I throw up!"

The Lonely Dick, not impressed by the Straight dick, says:
"You think thats bad? Three times a day some douche bag grabs hold of me with all of his might, pulls on me until I'm near beaten to death, then makes me throw up!"

The Smelly Dick is sitting back, laughing to himself.
"You guys think THATS bad? I'm thrown into a cave which smells like shit, the walls have shit on them, and I'm beaten until I throw up! And after that, they pull me out of the cave to reveal I was just fucking a Dog!"