10. She's pregnant again and is having John Edwards' baby
9. She's "hiking the Appalachian Trail" with Mark Sanford
8. She wants to spend more time teaching abstinence to her family
7. She's joining the cast of "I'm a Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here!"
6. She cracked under the strain of watching Russia from her house
5. She wants to devote herself full-time to making comedians apologize for the new wave of jokes they're about to unleash on her
4. Her daughter Bristol is actually having Alex Rodriguez's baby
3. She's taking up Playboy's offer to pose nude as part of their upcoming "Governors Gone Wild" issue
2. She came to the end of the Bridge to Nowhere that is her political career
1. She didn't resign at all. It was an elaborate hoax pulled off by Tina Fey