A man with a black eye boards his plane for a flight for his job. He finds his seat and sits down next to a guy. He buckles his seat belt and looks at the guy sitting next to him. Sure as shit HE has a black eye too. The first guy thinks this is too weird so he says:
“Ok. I have to ask. How did you get a black eye?”

The second guys says: “Well. You saw the boarding agent right?”

The first guy says “The one with the big tits?”

The second guy says “Yup. That’s the one. I was waiting in line and I kept looking at her tits. I kept thinking how nice they were. When I got up to hand her my boarding pass she said ‘Thank you. Have a nice day.’ Then I meant to say ‘Thank you. You too.’ Instead what came out was ‘Thank you. You tits.’ So she punched me. And you? How did you get yours.?”

The first guy says “Almost the same exact thing happened to me!”

The second guy says “Really? How so?”

The first guy says “Well. I was sitting down at breakfast with my wife and I meant to say ‘Please pass the salt.’ But instead what came out was ‘You fucking whore. You ruined my life. Get the fuck out of my house.’”