Original ad:
Broken Xbox 360? Red ring of death? Disc-read error? No problem! We repair broken Xbox 360s for $50 or less. Call or email ***-***-2811 or **********@comcast.net
From Me to **********@comcast.net:

Hello,

I sure hope you will be able to help me. I'm not sure what is wrong with my Xbox but it will not turn on. I've tried plugging it in to a bunch of different outlets, but none of them seem to work. Do you think you can help?

Thanks,

Mike

From Dean ****** to Me:

Hi Mike,

The outlet most likely has nothing to do with why your system won't turn on.

I certainly can help you though. I will rectify your xbox and can have it back to you in a week or so depending on the problem. Do you live in the area or would you like to ship the console?

Dean

From Me to Dean ******:

Oh my god, you are sick! I will not let you do that unspeakable act to my Xbox. I always knew that the internet is full of freaks and sexual deviants, but you have reached a new low. I thought your ad was for Xbox repairs, but I have been horribly mistaken.

From Dean ****** to Me:

Mike,

I'm not sure what you think I was saying. To rectify is to repair or mend something that is broken. I was only trying to tell you that I would repair your Xbox. I am sorry for any misunderstanding.

Dean

From Me to Dean ******:

Dean,

Don't lie to me. I know what rectify means, and the fact that you want to do it with an Xbox is disgusting. I can't even imagine how it is possible to do it with something that big, or what kind of pleasure that could possibly bring to a pervert like you. Regardless, I want my Xbox to be fixed, not to be violated and returned to me covered in ass hairs and feces. I will just mail it back to where I bought it and hope that the warranty is not void.

Mike

From Dean ****** to Me:

You clearly don't know the definition of rectify. I assure you I only want to fix your system.

From Me to Dean ******:

Dean,

I don't even want to know what you mean by "fix my system." Leave me alone before I call the police, you pervert.

Mike

From Dean ****** to Me:

I mean I am going to solve the problem that is causing your Xbox 360 to not turn on. That is all.

From Me to Dean ******:

Dean,

Even if you did return it to me and it worked, I would never be able to look at my Xbox the same way. There will always be the thought in the back of my mind that you took it and violated it.

I am going to post an ad warning other unsuspecting victims about the true disgusting motive behind your ad. What you are doing is sick.

Mike

From Dean ****** to Me:

If you do that then I will post an ad explaining that you are a fucking idiot that doesn't know what "rectify" means. Go fuck yourself.