12 Things That Would Be Different If Home Alone 2 Happened Now

Matt Arone Published 12/16/2014

Since it's the holiday season and we already deconstructed Home Alone, it seemed only fair to take a look at all the things that would be totally different if Home Alone 2 took place present day.

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1.
If there were a guest firing shots at hotel employees, every news station in the world would be covering it and the place would be locked down. It wouldn't just be Tim Curry and Deuce Bigalow diving for cover.
2.
Kevin wouldn't have been terrified of his cab driver because Uber would have shown him a picture of his driver before he even arrived.
3.
With so much on-demand programming Kevin surely would have found something better to watch than another black and white mobster movie. Anything else, really.
4.
At right around this moment Kevin would have pulled out his cell phone and called 911 instead of having to record their plan on his Talk Boy. That's the end of the Wet Bandits or Sticky Bandits or whatever vaguely sexual name Marv picked out this week.
5.
There would be no need for Kevin to go to Duncan's Toy Chest when he could just buy any toy he wants on Amazon with his dad's credit card.
6.
Between Hotels.com and Yelp, there's no way the McCallisters would have ended up at this awful hotel in Florida.
7.
Someone would have uploaded a video of Buzz humiliating Kevin onto YouTube and Buzz would be hated by the world.
8.
Since Kevin had his dad's bag, his parents could have turned on the Find My iPhone app and tracked his exact location instead of hoping he looked through this address book with a surprisingly small number of friends outside of Chicago.
9.
The poor pigeon lady that saved Kevin's life would have written a very telling online article about how she rescued a wealthy child from hardened criminals and the only reward she received was a cheap Christmas ornament.
10.
Peter McCallister wouldn't have freaked out at the end of the movie when he saw the charges because his mobile banking app would have been keeping him up to date. Also, your son was abandoned in New York for days and you're freaking out about a few hundred dollars? You're a monster.
11.
The family wouldn't have slept in because they would use their cell phones as alarm clocks so even if they power went out, they'd still be fine.
12.
Kevin never would've gotten separated from his family at the airport because his toys would be charged instead of having to replace the batteries every 6-8 hours.

1.
If there were a guest firing shots at hotel employees, every news station in the world would be covering it and the place would be locked down. It wouldn't just be Tim Curry and Deuce Bigalow diving for cover.
2.
Kevin wouldn't have been terrified of his cab driver because Uber would have shown him a picture of his driver before he even arrived.
3.
With so much on-demand programming Kevin surely would have found something better to watch than another black and white mobster movie. Anything else, really.
4.
At right around this moment Kevin would have pulled out his cell phone and called 911 instead of having to record their plan on his Talk Boy. That's the end of the Wet Bandits or Sticky Bandits or whatever vaguely sexual name Marv picked out this week.
5.
There would be no need for Kevin to go to Duncan's Toy Chest when he could just buy any toy he wants on Amazon with his dad's credit card.
6.
Between Hotels.com and Yelp, there's no way the McCallisters would have ended up at this awful hotel in Florida.
7.
Someone would have uploaded a video of Buzz humiliating Kevin onto YouTube and Buzz would be hated by the world.
8.
Since Kevin had his dad's bag, his parents could have turned on the Find My iPhone app and tracked his exact location instead of hoping he looked through this address book with a surprisingly small number of friends outside of Chicago.
9.
The poor pigeon lady that saved Kevin's life would have written a very telling online article about how she rescued a wealthy child from hardened criminals and the only reward she received was a cheap Christmas ornament.
10.
Peter McCallister wouldn't have freaked out at the end of the movie when he saw the charges because his mobile banking app would have been keeping him up to date. Also, your son was abandoned in New York for days and you're freaking out about a few hundred dollars? You're a monster.
11.
The family wouldn't have slept in because they would use their cell phones as alarm clocks so even if they power went out, they'd still be fine.
12.
Kevin never would've gotten separated from his family at the airport because his toys would be charged instead of having to replace the batteries every 6-8 hours.

If there were a guest firing shots at hotel employees, every news station in the world would be covering it and the place would be locked down. It wouldn't just be Tim Curry and Deuce Bigalow diving for cover.

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12 Things That Would Be Different If Home Alone 2 Happened Now

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If there were a guest firing shots at hotel employees, every news station in the world would be covering it and the place would be locked down. It wouldn't just be Tim Curry and Deuce Bigalow diving for cover.

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12 Things That Would Be Different If Home Alone 2 Happened Now

1.
If there were a guest firing shots at hotel employees, every news station in the world would be covering it and the place would be locked down. It wouldn't just be Tim Curry and Deuce Bigalow diving for cover.

2.
Kevin wouldn't have been terrified of his cab driver because Uber would have shown him a picture of his driver before he even arrived.

3.
With so much on-demand programming Kevin surely would have found something better to watch than another black and white mobster movie. Anything else, really.

4.
At right around this moment Kevin would have pulled out his cell phone and called 911 instead of having to record their plan on his Talk Boy. That's the end of the Wet Bandits or Sticky Bandits or whatever vaguely sexual name Marv picked out this week.

5.
There would be no need for Kevin to go to Duncan's Toy Chest when he could just buy any toy he wants on Amazon with his dad's credit card.

6.
Between Hotels.com and Yelp, there's no way the McCallisters would have ended up at this awful hotel in Florida.

7.
Someone would have uploaded a video of Buzz humiliating Kevin onto YouTube and Buzz would be hated by the world.

8.
Since Kevin had his dad's bag, his parents could have turned on the Find My iPhone app and tracked his exact location instead of hoping he looked through this address book with a surprisingly small number of friends outside of Chicago.

9.
The poor pigeon lady that saved Kevin's life would have written a very telling online article about how she rescued a wealthy child from hardened criminals and the only reward she received was a cheap Christmas ornament.

10.
Peter McCallister wouldn't have freaked out at the end of the movie when he saw the charges because his mobile banking app would have been keeping him up to date. Also, your son was abandoned in New York for days and you're freaking out about a few hundred dollars? You're a monster.

11.
The family wouldn't have slept in because they would use their cell phones as alarm clocks so even if they power went out, they'd still be fine.

12.
Kevin never would've gotten separated from his family at the airport because his toys would be charged instead of having to replace the batteries every 6-8 hours.

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5 Comments

eBaum's Picks

1. If there were a guest firing shots at hotel employees, every news station in the world would be covering it and the place would be locked down. It wouldn't just be Tim Curry and Deuce Bigalow diving for cover.

2. Kevin wouldn't have been terrified of his cab driver because Uber would have shown him a picture of his driver before he even arrived.

3. With so much on-demand programming Kevin surely would have found something better to watch than another black and white mobster movie. Anything else, really.

4. At right around this moment Kevin would have pulled out his cell phone and called 911 instead of having to record their plan on his Talk Boy. That's the end of the Wet Bandits or Sticky Bandits or whatever vaguely sexual name Marv picked out this week.

5. There would be no need for Kevin to go to Duncan's Toy Chest when he could just buy any toy he wants on Amazon with his dad's credit card.

6. Between Hotels.com and Yelp, there's no way the McCallisters would have ended up at this awful hotel in Florida.

7. Someone would have uploaded a video of Buzz humiliating Kevin onto YouTube and Buzz would be hated by the world.

8. Since Kevin had his dad's bag, his parents could have turned on the Find My iPhone app and tracked his exact location instead of hoping he looked through this address book with a surprisingly small number of friends outside of Chicago.

9. The poor pigeon lady that saved Kevin's life would have written a very telling online article about how she rescued a wealthy child from hardened criminals and the only reward she received was a cheap Christmas ornament.

10. Peter McCallister wouldn't have freaked out at the end of the movie when he saw the charges because his mobile banking app would have been keeping him up to date. Also, your son was abandoned in New York for days and you're freaking out about a few hundred dollars? You're a monster.

11. The family wouldn't have slept in because they would use their cell phones as alarm clocks so even if they power went out, they'd still be fine.

12. Kevin never would've gotten separated from his family at the airport because his toys would be charged instead of having to replace the batteries every 6-8 hours.

1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

6.

7.

8.

9.

10.

11.

12.

Share This Image

5 Comments

eBaum's Picks

1.
If there were a guest firing shots at hotel employees, every news station in the world would be covering it and the place would be locked down. It wouldn't just be Tim Curry and Deuce Bigalow diving for cover.

2.
Kevin wouldn't have been terrified of his cab driver because Uber would have shown him a picture of his driver before he even arrived.

3.
With so much on-demand programming Kevin surely would have found something better to watch than another black and white mobster movie. Anything else, really.

4.
At right around this moment Kevin would have pulled out his cell phone and called 911 instead of having to record their plan on his Talk Boy. That's the end of the Wet Bandits or Sticky Bandits or whatever vaguely sexual name Marv picked out this week.

5.
There would be no need for Kevin to go to Duncan's Toy Chest when he could just buy any toy he wants on Amazon with his dad's credit card.

6.
Between Hotels.com and Yelp, there's no way the McCallisters would have ended up at this awful hotel in Florida.

7.
Someone would have uploaded a video of Buzz humiliating Kevin onto YouTube and Buzz would be hated by the world.

8.
Since Kevin had his dad's bag, his parents could have turned on the Find My iPhone app and tracked his exact location instead of hoping he looked through this address book with a surprisingly small number of friends outside of Chicago.

9.
The poor pigeon lady that saved Kevin's life would have written a very telling online article about how she rescued a wealthy child from hardened criminals and the only reward she received was a cheap Christmas ornament.

10.
Peter McCallister wouldn't have freaked out at the end of the movie when he saw the charges because his mobile banking app would have been keeping him up to date. Also, your son was abandoned in New York for days and you're freaking out about a few hundred dollars? You're a monster.

11.
The family wouldn't have slept in because they would use their cell phones as alarm clocks so even if they power went out, they'd still be fine.

12.
Kevin never would've gotten separated from his family at the airport because his toys would be charged instead of having to replace the batteries every 6-8 hours.