The bathtub drain gets clogged by long hair very, very easily. Which is why it gets pasted on the walls of the shower. Any attempts to prevent one will result in the other.

Paper towels are expensive... the way my wife talks about them, they are woven from angel hairs and can't be used without express written consent. Same for Clorox wipes, but worse.

that the best time to clean the house is right before we have to leave to go somewhere.

That the difference of "I'm not hungry at all" and "I'm going to eat you alive because I'm desperately hungry" is about 5 seconds.

The toilet seat AND lid belong in the down position when it's not in use. It looks better and the dog doesn't drink out of it.

That there is apparently a wrong way to put the milk in the fridge. Also, if she can't sleep, I'm not allowed to either.

If they come home at night and don't expect you to be home, make some kind of you-specific, but non-threatening noise somewhere on the other side of the house BEFORE you say hi to them. DO NOT just pop you head around the corner and say hi. Girls coming home at night to an "empty" house are in pins and needles, even if they don't know it.

When they pee, it's really loud. Not the urine hitting the water, but when it comes out of them. I never knew.

I learned "personal time" is VERY IMPORTANT to have, especially if you sleep in the same room. Having our time, separated in different rooms, doing different activities. It's best not to spend every waking moment together.

You'll start finding these EVERYWHERE. No wonder they come in packs with so many of them.

Now I understand why so much floor space in the grocery store is devoted to creams, lotions, soaps, shampoos, remedies, band aids, hair management and makeup. Also why there's a whole industry devoted to products to hold and organize that stuff. Also, evidently sheets need to be changed on a regular weekly schedule. Who knew?

Bras with underwires NEVER go in the dryer.

Hair EVERYWHERE. Like seriously, it's like living with a gang of wookies. Nothing makes me gag more when i accidentally swallow a long strand of hair when eating.

Don't forget about the weekly "how the hell did this strand of hair get wrapped around my johnson?"